HANDFUL OF POETRY ~OUR POETRY SHARING CORNER
THE OTHER SIDES OF ME
The one that no one gets to see.
The one that hides inside of me.
The one that hides my many faces.
The one who sits in the darkest places.
The one who never wants to tell.
The one who thinks were bound for hell.
The one who shouts out our fears.
The one who only speaks with tears.
The one who comes to me in dreams.
The one who only knows to scream.
The one who wants to please the dad.
The one who fears she's going mad.
The one who holds the hurt and sadness.
The one who's full of dirt and badness.
The one who wants to give up and die.
The one who's reaching for the sky.
Together we are and always will be,
we all live together inside of me.
Copyright ~Beautifulhandful 2011
The one that no one gets to see.
The one that hides inside of me.
The one that hides my many faces.
The one who sits in the darkest places.
The one who never wants to tell.
The one who thinks were bound for hell.
The one who shouts out our fears.
The one who only speaks with tears.
The one who comes to me in dreams.
The one who only knows to scream.
The one who wants to please the dad.
The one who fears she's going mad.
The one who holds the hurt and sadness.
The one who's full of dirt and badness.
The one who wants to give up and die.
The one who's reaching for the sky.
Together we are and always will be,
we all live together inside of me.
Copyright ~Beautifulhandful 2011
THE TRUTHYou look at me and you don't see
that my heart is broken If you took the time to see You'd see my shirts tear soaken How could you take the trust we had and throw it out the window Could we ever get to place Where we can both rekindle My niece lay there beside our bed My wife lay with me in our bed A bed at which was made for two It's not a place for us and you What made you think you had the right, to climb inside our bed that night If the truth is what you hide to make it work for you I can only tell you this: A simple sorry just won't do! The truth is what I long to hear Don't let me hear, "It was the beer" I am only left with hate for what you did to me When you close your eyes at night the truth you'll only see For no matter how much you lie human you will be If you have a heart inside of which I had a place I tell you this, that at this time, place the sign "VACATE" There was no love in what you did that night when you were drinking Did you know with each sip, it was my heart you were sinking? You just sit back and suffer and don't say a word or sing I don't want to hear it It doesn't mean a thing When it's time, I'll let you know for my control is back! I have all the pride, respect, and love All of which you lack! Her Pain
Very young her life was full of sadness, tears that needed someone to help dry them up. At home she felt distrustful fearful and worthless. Her attempts to gain approval only made for more trauma and despair. Her mother was cruel and brutal, expecting perfection from her little victim. She was emotionally hurting, too, but falsely believed taking drastic measures would reveal her trauma. Years passed and the abuse worsened- screams and cries for help traveled through the walls. Scars left from heavy blows, tears fell harder,anger and resentment slowly added to her victims eyes. Her victim grew up, not one trace of self-esteem left, she treats herself the way her mom treated her. If only someone would show her how wonderful and gracious she is, she would grow into the person her mother didn't want to see. She would surly blossom. Part One: Because... (and) Now...Because... ...They burned me and brutalized me, broke and bruised me They touched me and tied me, tortured and teased me They striped me and searched me, scarred and sold me They hit me and hurt me, hated and harmed me They chased me and caged me, cheapened and cursed me They made me and mangled me, molested and mauled me They fucked me and fought me, forced and faulted me They abused me and abandoned me, affected and agonized me They destroyed me and damaged me, dropped and degraded me They raped me and raged me, risked and ruled me They kicked me and knew me, kept and killed me Now... ...I beat me and brawl me, baffle and break me I tempt me and tear me, terrorize and torment me I split me and scare me, suffer and sicken me I hinder me and hide me, hook and hate me I cut me and crave me, cry and chain me I mark me and morph me, mourn and mess me I fight me and flee me, false and forsake me I anger me and annoy me, accuse and attack me I deny me and drug me, dismiss and disown me I ruin me and rate me, rebel and repel me I kick me and know me, keep and kill me |
IF IT WAS RIGHT If it was right, then why do I cry, why do I ache each time she walks by? If it was right, then why do I scream, calling her name when I awake from a dream? I thought I'd forget her, I guess I was wrong. I thought I'd be tough, I thought I'd be strong. But she is in my heart more than she knows, and it hurts because I hide how much it shows. I Am
I am honest and gentle I wonder how far I can go I hear an angel whisper I see how good things can be I want to make love to her I am honest and gentle I pretend to dance with you in the warm spring rain I feel her arms around me I touch her gentle silk curls I worry that I will never find you I cry when you go and sometimes when you stay I am honest and gentle I understand that life offers no guarantees I say I am proud to love woman I dream of us cozy on a late fall afternoon I try to be the best me I can be I hope true love really exists I am honest and gentle Untitled (5min speed writing) In the secret, in the darkness, sitting in the lies I pray
For the sunlight and freedom. I believe the love and light may heal me one day No more scary place of the secrets, unsafe Spoken words, now revealed, the secrets make us sick Be well, be loud! Are there secrets you need to tell? Desperately searching for the sun In a dark and lonely place In search of something missing, The smile upon my face. Looking around feeling lonely and lost Will I find what I am looking for and if so at what cost? Wandering through from a child so small Will I make it this time? Or is there another fall? I want to feel like I belong, Searching for the missing song. It's been so long since I felt safe Having a place I call home to lay my head I close my eyes to pray each night Right before my bed. I pray for love in my heart to feel, I need a place that for once feels real. Part Two: Because... (and) Now...Because... ..She sees me and shelters me, shows and supports me She helps me and hearts me, honest and heals me She teaches me and tries for me, trusts and has time for me She fights for me and fears for me, feels and faces me She cares for me and cries for me, cheers and challenges me She grounds me and is great for me, gentle and graces me She believes me and bats for me, sees beauty and brave in me She is strong for me and shares with me, smiles and is safe for me She likes me and learns for me, listens and is a light for me She is patient for me and playful for me, peaceful and present for me Now... ... I can learn to see me and survive for me, share and be strong for me I can learn to be happy for me and healthy for me, hopeful and hear me I can learn to try for me and trust in me, tread forward and tell for me I can learn to fight for me and forgive me, go forward and not fear me I can learn to have compassion for me and cuddle me, cry and care for me I can learn to be great for me and be gentle with me, give and giggle for me I can learn to believe in me and see beauty in me, befriend and just be me I can learn to strive for me and share secrets for me, smile and shine for me I can learn to listen for me and like me, laugh and one day love for me I can learn to be patient for me and playful with me, peaceful and present for me |
By Eleven Years Old
On my knees at four years old
Here's a secret never told
He touched my body and entered in
He'd done to me a horrid sin
He took away what was truly mine
And now myself I can't define
A little girl so sweet, now lost
Did he know how big the cost?
Six years old he kissed my face
And then he kissed another place
In the park, stairs, or hall
It didn't matter where at all
Closed my eyes, I was not there
This was the way so i could bare
Could this be happening? Is it true?
He did to me what he wanted to
At nine years old he made me bleed
Ignoring every single scream
He pushed real hard, it hurt inside
But he never stopped when I cried
Running to school I was full of fear
Because i knew he was always near
I was never able to get away
And he haunts me to this very day
Ten years old and wanting to die
It's pretty sad this baby can't cry
I am so numb and cannot feel
This no longer feels so real
My body and soul no longer connected
Lifeless and dead is now reflected
Raped and beaten and left cold
And all this happened by eleven years old
Here's a secret never told
He touched my body and entered in
He'd done to me a horrid sin
He took away what was truly mine
And now myself I can't define
A little girl so sweet, now lost
Did he know how big the cost?
Six years old he kissed my face
And then he kissed another place
In the park, stairs, or hall
It didn't matter where at all
Closed my eyes, I was not there
This was the way so i could bare
Could this be happening? Is it true?
He did to me what he wanted to
At nine years old he made me bleed
Ignoring every single scream
He pushed real hard, it hurt inside
But he never stopped when I cried
Running to school I was full of fear
Because i knew he was always near
I was never able to get away
And he haunts me to this very day
Ten years old and wanting to die
It's pretty sad this baby can't cry
I am so numb and cannot feel
This no longer feels so real
My body and soul no longer connected
Lifeless and dead is now reflected
Raped and beaten and left cold
And all this happened by eleven years old
Borrowed Hand
Sometime things can be so scary
And you find that you are lost
Things seem dark and hopeless
And come at much too high a cost
So when you're feeling very low
And feel you have no place to go
Don't slide back to your old ways
Try to be grateful for each day
A stranger came and took my hand
In my time of sorrow
And in a soft and comfort place
She said her hand I borrow
But I am learning more and more
I can hold my own hand too
So as I get stronger
that's exactly what I'll do
Sometime things can be so scary
And you find that you are lost
Things seem dark and hopeless
And come at much too high a cost
So when you're feeling very low
And feel you have no place to go
Don't slide back to your old ways
Try to be grateful for each day
A stranger came and took my hand
In my time of sorrow
And in a soft and comfort place
She said her hand I borrow
But I am learning more and more
I can hold my own hand too
So as I get stronger
that's exactly what I'll do
Quiet alone in her room
she closes her eyes and begins to
glide around, music in her head.
This is her moment of peace, in a world all her own.
She begins to spin really fast
and halts to a stop to feel the
unbalanced rush through her.
This reminds her she can feel.
Dancing on her tip toes makes her feel tall, like she can take on
the world, no matter how small.
Ribbons and curls bounce around on the top of her head as
she looks in the mirror and smiles.
She is proud
of her secret time she shares with herself.
she closes her eyes and begins to
glide around, music in her head.
This is her moment of peace, in a world all her own.
She begins to spin really fast
and halts to a stop to feel the
unbalanced rush through her.
This reminds her she can feel.
Dancing on her tip toes makes her feel tall, like she can take on
the world, no matter how small.
Ribbons and curls bounce around on the top of her head as
she looks in the mirror and smiles.
She is proud
of her secret time she shares with herself.
Beautiful Safety Queen
All I wanted to
do was close
my eyes and pass away
then a beautiful safety queen
came along and I'm living
another day
Not only are my eyes now
open wide, for what
she's done for me
Knowing that I'm
worthy is something
real I see
From this moment on
things can get much better
Because I hold safety queen in
my heart forever
do was close
my eyes and pass away
then a beautiful safety queen
came along and I'm living
another day
Not only are my eyes now
open wide, for what
she's done for me
Knowing that I'm
worthy is something
real I see
From this moment on
things can get much better
Because I hold safety queen in
my heart forever