I am looking back over and over and over in my mind and through boxes of cards I have gotten over the years and not one card says this is it time to grow up. Time to lose all the things that bring you comfort. Bye bye to your sippy cup, no more sucking your thumb, you are officially too old to be tucked in at night.  I wasn't ever too young to be taken pieces from my soul as a small child, in Strawberry Shortcake Jammies. Then as an adult I would be looked at as a freak for living in a 34 year old body and owing a sippy cup, using the excuse when in view, "oh yeah, a friend left that here the other day when visiting." I only take comfort now in the things I was deprived of as a child, either through not having it or not having enough of it. It's no different then someone who sleeps 6pm - 2am or 3am - 11am, still both get 8 hours. So why in my life that has got to be my own and life is for living for the things I want out of it. So why am I judged for getting the things now as an adult to feel good that I should have had as a child....go ahead send the card, judge me, whatever you like, cause your view of who I am has changed with facts, but the reality, I am still who I was yesterday, I did nothing wrong, just got a little more braver....

Just cried my eyes out to my T and told her everything going on with my sponsor and friends leaving me and all against me right now. She assured me again that she wasn't going anywhere. And still cares very much and told us how touched she was from our email telling her about how special she is to us and that she is an unaware light in our life and how much she means to us and we talked about safety plan for the next 2 days and then basically worked on the good bye for the day...always hard to leave her. Seeing her again Friday!! Can't wait cause she has a great basket of toys ;) 

Sorry I have not written lately, it has been tough. 
UPDATE SOON! May write an entry tonight.