Just cried my eyes out to my T and told her everything going on with my sponsor and friends leaving me and all against me right now. She assured me again that she wasn't going anywhere. And still cares very much and told us how touched she was from our email telling her about how special she is to us and that she is an unaware light in our life and how much she means to us and we talked about safety plan for the next 2 days and then basically worked on the good bye for the day...always hard to leave her. Seeing her again Friday!! Can't wait cause she has a great basket of toys ;)
So yup that's my life right now...off again lost and alone...watching as people keep quickly dropping out of my life. My heart hurts so much. Loss is hard at any level, anytime it happens. Losing my sponsor in my life has been the biggest hit I have taken in a long time.
On a side note...I am excited about my new 34 year old wrinkles! Yahooo!!! Now come on grey hair...let's get on with this already! ~Side Note Of Side Note: Sarcasm to get on with life, ya know...yeah...
I don't know my head is as messed up and unorganized as this entry.
Trying to figure out if I am empty from loss or lightened of the weight it all brought to us as a whole system.
The hardest part is Tracey (9) is missing him so much...she is so sad inside and angry and scared cause he is gone now. He was the only man on the planet that she felt safe with, that she trusted. The only man that could touch her. We for a moment in time were Daddy's Little Girl and thank him that for always. Love You and Will Miss You In My Life....it's harder cause you still breath, I know you are physically still here and I can't be apart of you but know for eternity you will always be a part of me. You can never take away the memories that made me feel loved so many time when we were together. Those are what I am choosing to hold on to in hope that I can be strong enough to get to the other side of this all.
RSS Feed