Went to see my Therapist today, the one I have had for over 2 years and this was the first session that I ever got upset with her or showed any level of frustration. I even told her the session was a complete waste of time. Sigh. I don't think I meant it, I am just so frustrated these days with how my support team doesn't seem to be listening to me at all and makes it confusing.
One says journal it's good. The other says don't, stay away from these thoughts right now. One says go to the Hospital and one said, no don't that is a bad idea and will only set you back. One says process the new memories as soon as possible and the other says don't think of it right now, try and stable first then we'll deal with it.
Okay Stop!!
Has anyone even asked what I want out of all this? I want them to all get on the same page but first I want to finish up a few things, as some of these supports will soon be ending, which is a whole other issue. After I get all the new things and support in place then and only then will this be a great idea. My question is in the mean time what am I suppose to do while my support system is all disorganized and awry?
My Therapist I saw today said something rather helpful. Don't listen to any right now that isn't helpful by listening to my own voice. Okay more questions, I have many voices, not always on the same page. Also if my own voice was good I wouldn't really need them for support would I. So how do I do this.
The good part is that some of the inners thought YAY!! Don't listen = we can do whatever we want. So taking this listen to no one in a really wrong, most likely not unintended way. I think it was more meant to be said as in don't take it all in and be confused. Just be patient until everything is in place that is suppose to be in the next few weeks.
Okay totally rambling in confusion forgive me, but this, this moment is where I truly am at, Confusion!
What's a girl of many to do??
Left to my own devices = trouble.
I don't know! ~ Deep breath...
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