I am thinking about the level of emotion I have going on tonight, the last five days have been tough but easy to cope with, lack of sleep has been hard on us but still managed to make it through the days. Today we are thinking we are headed for a crash. One can only hold on to intense emotions for so long and something has got to give. We just hope that something presents itself in a healthy way.
Today's session was quite intense. I read Safety Queen a poem we wrote a night ago and it triggered me to no end. I acted and stay calm all through session until near the end. At the end I kinda curled up in the chair to comfort myself. In hopes that I could stay present until the end of session at least. I managed too.
We also spoke about our check in and I explained to Safety Queen that scales are not very good for those with DID, that she may as well ask a room full of people to come up with one number to identify a question. She understood and fixed up check in for the time being with a new approach. We will listen inside and identify the highest number and who and the lowest number and who.
I always feel safe with my T after all she is the Safety Queen but today in that room I felt so scared for the first time since the beginning. I wanted to scream so bad...OUCH!!! I was feeling every thought in my body and the pain was intense. I took a deep internal breath and held it in appearing to remain calm. I was having a body fb right in front of her and I don't think she had a clue.
My fear as we go deeper into these issues I am dealing with that therapy may get scary. At the very least I know, that no matter what happens in that room, I am protected and cared for, we all are.
Thanks Safety Queen and sorry for all "I'm Sorries" today LOL ~Take it back!
Today's session was quite intense. I read Safety Queen a poem we wrote a night ago and it triggered me to no end. I acted and stay calm all through session until near the end. At the end I kinda curled up in the chair to comfort myself. In hopes that I could stay present until the end of session at least. I managed too.
We also spoke about our check in and I explained to Safety Queen that scales are not very good for those with DID, that she may as well ask a room full of people to come up with one number to identify a question. She understood and fixed up check in for the time being with a new approach. We will listen inside and identify the highest number and who and the lowest number and who.
I always feel safe with my T after all she is the Safety Queen but today in that room I felt so scared for the first time since the beginning. I wanted to scream so bad...OUCH!!! I was feeling every thought in my body and the pain was intense. I took a deep internal breath and held it in appearing to remain calm. I was having a body fb right in front of her and I don't think she had a clue.
My fear as we go deeper into these issues I am dealing with that therapy may get scary. At the very least I know, that no matter what happens in that room, I am protected and cared for, we all are.
Thanks Safety Queen and sorry for all "I'm Sorries" today LOL ~Take it back!
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